We Won't Live As We Were
by ClosetFanGirl89
Summary: Beginning between Christmas special and season 5. Patsy and Delia scenes from the episodes and others. All from Patsy's POV
1. Pre Season 5

A/N A short filler chapter to get us from the Christmas special to be beginning of series 5.

Flicking through the post on the bureau my heart skips a beat as I see my name and immediately recognise the writing, the swirl of the P and the tiny x at the end of my name. The first letter I've received from Delia since her return to Wales, her first since her accident that's made it to me as it turns out. It's been two weeks since she was here, the postal system seems to take so long when you're waiting for something. Delia had told me that the telephone in her village was broken when she left for Christmas so she hasn't been able to call. I rush upstairs and make myself comfortable on the bed; Trixie is out at her keep fit class so I've got plenty of time, uninterrupted. My hands are shaking as I prise open the envelope and gently pull out the letter, cream writing paper with a geometric design around the edge. Typical Deils only real flowers will do.

 _My Darling Pats,_

 _I hope this letter reaches you as intended, I'm planning to post it myself so there shouldn't be any confusion this time. My journey back to Wales was rather eventful; the coach broke down leaving us stranded on the side of the road waiting for a replacement. It was almost midnight by the time I was tucked up in bed and frozen to my bones. Wales is much colder than London._

Another point for Poplar, I think with a smile.

 _I'm missing you so much already, it was wonderful to see you at Christmastime and I cannot wait for us to be together again. My mother will just have to lump it, there is no way I'm not coming back to Poplar._

I smile again at her determination.

 _The telephone in the village is being fixed the week after next so I'll be able to call then. I miss your voice Pats I really do._

I miss her too, her soft Welsh tones are something I'll never tire of.

 _I'm getting stronger, not so tired all the time, I'm getting plenty of rest, my mother is hardly letting me get out of bed let alone do anything strenuous. I'll be sneaking out while she's at Church to post this letter, I feel like a naughty school girl sometimes, like I'll get my wrists slapped for getting up._

 _I'm waiting for a letter from my doctors at the London with my next appointment, I'll let you know when I do and we can arrange to meet._

 _I'll write again soon and will telephone as soon as I'm able to too_

 _All my love D x_

I read and re-read the letter longing to see her again and contemplating my response.

Its several days before I have a change to reply to Delia's letter, I've been particularly busy with late night deliveries and cubs in the last few days. I wait until Trixie leaves for her rounds before I pull out writing paper and light another cigarette.

 **Dearest Deils,**

 **It was so lovely to hear from you; although I'm sorry you had such a horrendous journey home. I'm missing you too, so very much. Life in Poplar has been pretty uneventful since you left, Trixie is very into keep fit, and is making attempts to get me to join, the thought of wearing a leotard in public it not a pretty one. Barbara is spending an awful lot of time with Tom, the vicar; she hasn't said anything but I'm rather sure something is happening there, not sure how Trixie would feel about that.**

 **I look forward to hearing from you regarding your appointment; I do hope we can meet for tea when you're back in London. I'm glad you're getting stronger and I'm afraid I'm in agreement with your mother; you should be resting as much as you can to get yourself better quicker.**

 **We got measured for our new uniforms this week; it'll be a while before they're ready but will be a rather exciting change from our dated ones.**

 **Take Care and keep yourself well.**

 **Love Always**

 **Pats xx**

It's almost a month before I get a reply, I find the letter delicately placed on my pillow, I presume by Trixie, after a long day of district rounds. I open it hastily, ripping the envelope slightly as I do.

 _Pats,_

 _Firstly an apology for taken so long to reply, I've been unwell with flu which has had me totally bed bound, as I no longer trust my mother to post my letters I haven't been able to send you anything before now._

My heart breaks at the thought of her being unwell, I should be with her, sponging her forehead, and bring her hot lemon and honey. She should be shivering next to me and having my hands rub her aching shoulders.

 _I have my appointment with the neuro doctor just before Easter on March 31_ _st_ _at 10 o'clock, I'm not sure I'll be able to come back to London before then but I promise we will meet when I there. Seven more weeks is nothing to wait when I think how long we have been waiting so far._

 _Now this business with the keep fit class, I'm afraid the thought of you in a leotard has had me somewhat distracted since I read your letter. I think you'd look quite fetching in a skin tight woollen outfit._ _I'll have to sign up myself when I'm back in London, so we can go together. I better sign off there as I feel if I continue more I'll embarrass myself with my blatent lust._

I blush at the page, suddenly feeling rather flustered.

 _Until next time my dear,_

 _Delia xx_

I'm not sure I know how to reply to that last paragraph, I feel myself flushing all over and I re-read it.

I leaf through the cards in the corner shop looking for the right one. I've got a perfect image in my head for my reply to Delia and hope that the shop has something that will fit it. I'm about to give up when something catches my eye, a black and white photograph of a vase of flowers on a windowsill, similar to the one at our flat. Delia never saw the finished article but she dreamed it which made me do it in the first place. I pull the card out of the box and head to the counter to pay.

I decide not to go back to Nonnatus to write it rather heading to the nearest café deciding I can drop it into the post box on my way back home.

I keep it short and sweet, unable to form enough words to explain how I feel about seeing Delia again.

 **Meet me at the tea room on Beckett Street at 11.30 after your appointment.**

 **Cannot wait to see you.**

 **Pats xx**

 **P.S. Sorry you were unwell, so pleased you're feeling better. Xx**

I pull a small parcel out of my pocket a beautiful gold pin I saw on the commercial road market when I last walked through. It was perfect for Delia, a small branch with two tiny bird on it so she has something from me that her mother will never suspect. I tuck it inside the card and put it in the envelope.

I close the envelope and press the seal to my lips, leaving the faintest hint of my lipstick on the join. Pushing it into the letter box I am willing the next few weeks to rush by to so I can see her again.


	2. Episode 1 part 1

I'm laying in bed staring at the ceiling, listening to the clock on the landing tick and chime as the minutes and hours go by. It's the longest night ever, waiting for morning to come, the morning where I will meet Delia after her appointment.

Trixie cajoled me into setting my hair last night, as it was my day off she said, so I wouldn't have to worry about putting it up for work, and therefore she could have the practice. It's the most uncomfortable thing to sleep in, rollers, pins and a hair net. I feel like Grace Kelly dressed up like a doll. How Trixie does it on a regular basis I don't know.

So now I'm laying here unable to sleep because of Delia and because of my hair attire. Thankfully I have my comfiest pyjamas on, a Christmas present from Delia a couple of years ago and my favourites.

The clock chimes again, six times, only five hours to go. Trixie begins to stir, groaning that it's always too early. She rolls out of her bed and heads out to the bathroom. My tummy is doing somersaults as I think about my day and what news Delia will bring with her.

The sun up when Trixie returns to the bedroom. She puts her uniform silently obviously thinking I'm still asleep. As she rests her foot on the edge of her bed to put on her stockings I decide it's time to get up.

"I hardly slept a wink last night. I don't know how you manage; going to bed with a head full of ironmongery night after night." I walk over to the mirror, admiring just how ridiculous my head looks.

"One must suffer to be beautiful. Do you have any special plans for your day off?" She asks

"No, just meeting a friend" I bit my lips in attempt to suppress a smile in the mirror, failing as I feel a blush creeping across my cheeks.

I such a terrible liar, I think to myself, especially when it comes to Delia. Thankfully Trixie doesn't press me further seemingly too caught up in her own day to care about which friend I'm meeting. She slips on her shoes and rushes out the door.

"Have a good day" she calls back as the sort shuts.

I will, I think, at least I hope I will, I do hope it's good news. I'm not sure how I'll cope if it isn't.

I pull the rollers and pins out of my hair and attempt to style it as Trixie should me in her magazine last night. I rarely wear my hair down so it's all new for me. Not sure if it's brave or stupid to try something new when I'm going to meet Delia but it's hardly like I have a choice now. I brush out the tight curls and pin it behind my ears in an attempt to get it to hold. I must remember to take them out again before I leave.

Heading over to the wardrobe I leaf through the dresses hanging, I'm usually a slacks girl but for some reason today I'm drawn to a dress. Delia loves it when I wear dresses, she's told me on several occasions, I feel I should wear one for her. I stop one a newer one, deep green with lighter flowers. It's a little lower cut than I'd usually wear but Trixie had convinced me to buy it on a recent shopping trip. I pull it over my head and down, aware of just how much cleavage is showing but deciding not to worry, Delia has seen it before. I apply my make up, adding my trademark red lipstick before removing the hair pins, grabbing my bag and heading out the door to meet Delia.


	3. Episode 1 part 2

Chapter 3

My journey to the tea room is quicker than I'm expecting so I'm there early, a waiter sees me to a table and I take a seat, I'm nervous and I'm not sure why, it feels like our first date all over again, if you can call it a date.

 _We'd met at the docks after work, while I was still on male surgical, Delia hadn't been working at the London long, we caught eyes while helping a patient into bed and there was something, a spark between us. I was super nervous before, not sure if Delia felt the same way I did, about men, about women. We had an awkward embrace as we met and I couldn't stop shaking as we ate our chips wrapped in newspaper. I shouldn't have worried, it was the most comfortable and natural evening and company I could have asked for. We'd walked along the dock side for over an hour, talking the whole time and not paying attention to where we were going, and ended up getting horribly lost as the sun was setting. Getting back long after curfew at the nurses home._

I'm lost in my thoughts when the waiter comes over again, asking if I'm waiting for someone. I reply and pull my compact mirror out of my bag to have a quick check of my lipstick. Folding it back up I glance at my watch, half wondering if Delia is going to come, what if her mother intercepted my card.

"Pats" her voice echoes across the room as she makes her way down the stairs towards the table. "Were you looking at your watch?" she asks as she sits down next to me.

"No!" goodness I'm a terrible liar

"Fibber" she smiles and I give her a half wink, half smile back. "I was given a spotless bill of health and went straight to see Matron." I can't control the smile that spreads across my face. "I walked into that hospital a patient and walked back out an employee."

My smile turns into a grin, I can hardly believe it. I look down and place my hand onto on Delia's on the table, not thinking about, or even caring who might see. She lays her other hand on top of mind and I feel the warmth between us. Taking a deep breath in and closing my eyes to check this isn't a dream.

As I open my eyes again I notice she's wearing the pin to sent her. My gaze fixes on it and she raises her hand to touch it.

"You're wearing the pin" I smile taking a sip of tea.

"Of course I am. I wear it every day, it means more to me than anything else" my heart gallops as she's speaks, when I sent it I never thought it would mean so much to her. I just wanted her to have a token from me.

"Now" her voice is firm and I'm anxious about what's coming next. "About this leotard" I laugh louder than I consider appropriate and feel a blush creeping up my neck. "What does it look like and when can I see it, or rather YOU in it" she grins, her eyes sparkling.

I gather myself, slightly shocked at how blatant she is being.

"Well" I begin, taking a slow deep breath in an attempt to control my racing heartbeat. I explain the low denier tights with cut off feet. The fitted woollen leotard over the top with the low cut neckline.

I can see her becoming flustered, her cheeks flushing and nostrils flaring only encouraging me to carry on.

"On second thoughts maybe you shouldn't tell me here, but I definitely need to sign up for these keep fit classes as soon as possible." She grins and my eyes widen, my lips curling into a smile too.

"The only fly in the ointment is having to wait until June" she states as I take a long sip of tea "But unless Staff Nurse Winters get knocked up and brings her wedding forward" I chuckle as she speaks "we'll just have to bide out time."

I sigh telling her it all seems to be true, when it appears it is all good to be true.

"There you are" Mrs Busby's voice echoes louder than her daughters as I jump, although I'm not sure why I did, it's hardly like we were doing anything wrong. "That was a right wild chase you sent me on to that foundation garment shop." She takes an unoffered seat next to me. "They don't stock Miss Mary of Switzerland girdles at all."

I try to hide my amusement, glancing at Deils out the corner of my eye.

"Hello mam. You remember Patsy don't you?" She grazes my arm as she says my name, sending a jolt through me.

She acknowledges me before inspecting the tea pot, commenting on the scum around the top.

"You wouldn't see that in Pembrokeshire" she scoffed.

Delia tells her mother about our conversation.

"It's wonderful, isn't it" I can't help myself.

Mrs Busby doesn't approve, she's pleased she better, of course we both are, but she still doesn't want her to come back to London. There really are less than a handful of things I like about this woman. Delia seems as shocked as I am. Surely her mother would rather her be well and happy. She seems stuck with an image of how Delia was straight after the accident, rather than where she is now. I would be foolish to say I didn't think of her lying in that hospital bed not know who I was every day but I can see how she had changed, how she is more like the old Delia every time we meet or speak.

I look to Deils as I defend her health and she offers me a soft smile. I can feel myself getting rather hot under my metaphorical collar as Mrs Busby recalls how Mr Busby and herself haven't recovered however. This isn't about them it's about Delia. She doesn't feel there's anywhere for Delia to live with the nurses home gone.

"Lots of nurses live in rented digs" I sigh, she is trying to find any reason for this not to happen.

She's talking about Delia as if she isn't there.

"I'm sorry Cariad, I'm putting my foot down"

I look to Delia expecting her to defend herself, put up the fight I know she's capable of. She says nothing. My eyes widen and I feel a lump in my throat. Without thinking I pick up my back and leave the tearoom without saying anything else.

Rushing back onto the street outside I can hear Delia calling my name, coming after me. My heart breaks as I realise she does want me, her mother is not helping anyone. She catches up with me and pulls me towards her but my arm.

"Pats, please." Her eyes are full of tears on the brink of falling. "I didn't think she'd be like this. Let me speak to her, I'll get her to see I need to be in London." A tear rolls down her cheek and she doesn't break out eye contact as she speaks.

I take a deep breath, willing my own tears not to fall, not sure how to reply. I want more than anything for Delia to be in London and I'd like to think I'd do what ever it takes, but I know how much her mother means to Delia and I wouldn't want that bond to be broken. Delia takes my hand and gives it a squeeze.

"Let me talk to her, I'll call you later, once the air has cleared." She smiles softly.

"I'm sorry Deils, it just feels like one step forward and another two back all the time" I rub my thumb over her knuckles as I speak. "I'm sorry I stormed out, please forgive me."

"You're always forgiven Pats," she smiles, wiping a tear away with her free hand.

We embrace as she promises to telephone later, whispering 'I love you' into my hair as she does. We reluctantly break apart and I watch as she makes her way back into the tearoom. I turn back and begin my walk home, it not as bright or a quick as the journey here, almost as if to reflect my mood.

I'm grateful there's no one around when I get back to Nonnatus. I drag myself up the stairs and lay down on my bed, only then to I allow the tears to fall, my photograph of Delia in my hand, looking rather tatty now after six months of looking at it every chance I get. I must eventually fall asleep as I'm suddenly woken by the sound of the others buzzing around downstairs.


	4. Episode 1 part 3

**A/N this is the last chapter for this episode. I'm getting lots of views but only 2 reviews so can't tell if you are liking this or not don't want to carry on writing if no one likes it I'm really enjoying writing this though!**

* * *

I'm sitting at the dining table when the phone rings, looking utterly ridiculous in these bunny ears while Trixie sews them. I stake my claim on answering it, as I have done for every time the phone has rung for the last twenty four hours. I don't want to miss a call from Deils, and I don't want anyone else to answer and speak to her, then know that I've spoken to her.

"Do not remove them, the entire creation is hanging in the balance" Barbara is right, Trixie is a slave driver when she wants to be.

I rush to the phone, holding them on as I do.

"Nonnatus house, Midwife speaking"

"Pats" Finally it's her I can't control the smile that escapes at hearing her voice again

"Hello, do you have news" I'm hopefully optimistic.

"I'm sorry Pats, I'm so sorry" my heart sinks.

"Delia you're 24"

"When I said that to my mother she said 'and it's only by the grace of God you'll see 25'" annoyingly Mrs Busby has a point but that doesn't mean I agree with the woman.

"If I come back to live in London it would break her"

What about me, I think, if she doesn't come back it will certainly break me. I hold my tongue aware that this is as hard for her as it is for me.

"I owe her so much and she's fighting so hard"

I can hear her voice hitching as though she's trying not to cry. I'm fighting; at least I thought I was. I'm not sure my life's worth anything if I can't be with Deils. I have to see her, try and get her to change her mind.

"Can I see you before you go?"

"We're getting the bus home on Monday night." That's two days from now.

"Can I meet you for lunch? You could come here, I know everyone would be so pleased to see you."

"Alright" I begin to smile "But I can't leave Mam." Not the meeting I had in mind but better than nothing.

"Pats.." She's speaking so softly I can hardly hear her. "I love you, you know that."

Sister Monica Joan shuffles past as I sniff hard to stop the tears falling.

"And I you, always" I put the phone down and head back into the dining room where the others are in full flow or Easter Parade tales of years gone by. I silently take my seat back in front of Trixie and she continues where she left off.

"Everything alright?" she asks innocently

"I'm not sure, but I hope it will be" I'm at least partially honest in my reply, and thankfully no one pushes me any further.

* * *

The next two days pass by quicker than I'm expecting and soon enough it's Easter Monday. Nonnatus is a hive of activity, preparations for lunch and the bonnet parade absorbing everyone which is relief as it's a distraction from the thoughts of what may happen later. I don't want to say goodbye to Delia with an audience but equally I need to see her again.

We're all sitting around the table, rather more crowded that usual but perfectly lovely just the same. I hint for Delia to sit next to me, her mother to her other side.

"What a beautiful you keep Sister Julienne" Mrs Busby calls across the table as I pass a plate of simnel cake to Delia, grazing her fingers with my own as I do.

"Family meals are very important at Nonnatus House Mrs Busby."

"It was never like this at that nurses home was it Caraid?"

"I still wish they hadn't demolished it."

"Where are you going to stay when you take up your job again" Sister Winifred's question is so innocent but only reminds me of why Delia is here.

"I'm not, I'm going home to Wales" Delia's voice is full of sadness.

Mrs Busby yet again indicates just how poorly Delia has been, yes we all know that, but she is so much better now, and has been signed as fit to return to work. Why can't her mother see this would make Delia happy?

"Your daughter is welcome to lodge her with us" Sister Julienne offers, I feel my jaw drop and Barbara's eyes on me as I glance across to Delia who looks equally as shocked.

"I think that's a most suitable suggestion" Nurse Crane interjects; she's always had a soft spot for Delia, as she's told me on several occasions.

"So do I" I don't realise they are Delia's words for a moment, still trying to get my heart and mind under control for form thoughts and words myself.

Sister Julienne starts talking again but I honestly haven't a clue what she says, I'm too in awe of what's just happened, how events have been totally turned on their head in the last three minutes. I look to Delia and raise my eyebrows, she catches my eye and we share a smirked smile as I feel myself blushing.

The conversation quickly turns but I'm not a part of it, I'm silent in my thoughts of what will happen now? When can Delia move in? Where will she sleep? Can we get away with sharing a room? I feel Delia's foot softly running up the back of my thigh, jump at how brazen she is being, stifling the noise of my chair scraping with a cough.

"Are you alright?" Delia asks, placing her hand on my back, I cough again. "Maybe you should get a glass of water, please excuse us for a moment"

She stands up pulling me up with her and leading me to the kitchen, still coughing, although very much fake now. I stand close to her as she runs me a glass of water, silently thanking her as I take a sip. We can't control our grins now we're alone, as alone as you can be with fifteen other people, including Delia's mother, in the next room.

"This is definitely too good to be true" she whispers

"It most certainly is true Deils, you and I living together, I can't wait" I whisper into her ear as I place my glass into the sink behind her.

There's a scraping of chairs causing us to jump apart. Everyone makes there way outside begin the Easter bonnet parade. Delia and I follow on behind the rest; I guide us to the veranda, climbing up and over to sit on the wooden wall. Delia stays standing behind, apparently in case I fall back. She stands close, her arm brushing against my hand. The parade begins and there's a burst of noise, cheers and claps. Delia leans in close to me.

"You and I together again Pats, I'll look forward to seeing you in the keep fit gear all the time." She smiles pushing her shoulder into my side.


	5. Episode 2

_Dearest Deils_

 _It still seems rather surreal that you'll be here, in Nonnatus, in a few short weeks. Everyone is looking forward to your arrival, although we're still deciding where you're going to sleep. I'm trying to hold some decorum and not insist I share with you, as much as I'd adore to. I'm not sure how Sister Julienne would approve of a room swap is after all this time sharing with Trixie._

 _It's been really rather eventful here in the past couple of weeks. The girls and I ate chips and cockles on the docks last week, it was lovely, although I would have preferred to be there with you. Trixie said we should imagine we're dining in Saint-Tropez with David Niven. While the thought of Saint-Tropez is a rather good one I'm not so keen on a date with David Niven, not enough of somethings and too much of something else for my liking. That said I enjoyed my evening off and the three of us had a good catch up, they both asked after you._

 _It seemed Nurse Crane found herself a gentleman friend. She started a Spanish class, by herself after unsuccessfully recruiting anyone else, and met a widower there who she seemed very taken by. She even asked Trixie and I if we could 'polish her' her words not mine. She joined us for some girly chat while we listened to one of her records on Trixie's grammar-phone. She's a wise woman and fast becoming a friend, although I feel I maybe coming too comfortable around her and am at risk of saying too much without thinking at times._

I pause as I think back to our conversation.

I'm rather jealous of Nurse Crane and I tell her so. She's so philosophical, so worldly wise and so honest. I must admit I wasn't the biggest fan of her when she first arrived but I'm warming to her very much.

"You know I rather envy you. You live life as you please. You have a motor car, your work and now a genuine passion. And no-one ever bothers you with endless questions about when you'll marry and why you don't have a gentleman friend."

Trixie rolls her eyes as I glare at her while making my last statement. I so wish I could just tell her, will no consequences. I'm sure on some level she must know, maybe not about Delia, but she must know I prefer the company of women.

"Oh we must always live as we please. So long as no one gets hurt in the process. Recklessness is quite another matter. These are wonderful days girls. Go out there and take hold of them. You're not given opportunities. You must grab them with both hands."

"I'd adore too"

I'd said the words before I thought about them. Taking a long drag of my cigarette I keep my eyes focuses on the bed. Feeling the stare of Trixie's to my side. I must be more careful, however hard it is. It's true though I'd totally adore to grasp everything with both hands, life, Delia, certain parts of Delia's anatomy. I feel myself blushing. Everything Phyllis said was true, we should be able to do what we want as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else. My relationship with Delia isn't hurting anyone, it isn't anyone else's business really. Why does some that feels so right feel so wrong?

I'm caught in my thoughts, before I realised that I've held the pen on the parchment for too long and it's left a blot. I curse myself under my breath for being so careless. Not wanting to start again, I add a little note 'oops' and continue.

 _Unfortunately it turned out that the gentleman friend wasn't a widow, in fact his wife was alive and a patient of ours but sadly suffering from senile dementia and unable to remember him. Tragically sad, and frightfully familiar, I said a little prayer that evening thanking God for returning your memory. I managed to persuade Phyllis to meet the gentleman again, giving him another chance to start again. She went off to her next class slightly 'polished' and returned rather flushed. I've yet to ask her how it went but I do hope we get meet the man that made her seem a whole lot more human._

 _Trixie seems awfully distant recently, I can tell she's not too impressed at how much time Barbara us spending with Tom. Not that it's really her business anymore but she isn't pleased about it none the less. She won't talk about anything though, apart from Keep Fit. She not drinking either, which isn't at all like her. She keeps saying its to help her complexion and beauty regime. I've known Trixie a while now and she has the most thorough beauty regime of anyone I know and the most flawless china doll skin. I can't see how stopping drinking could improve it anymore._

 _Anyway, I'd better leave it there, I can hear the buzz of high tea preparations downstairs so had better lend a hand. Take care and I cannot wait to see you in a few short weeks._

 _All my love_

 _Pats xxxx_


	6. Episode 3 part 1

**A/N Thank you for all the lovely reviews and comments on this fic (and my others) it really means a lot. xx**

* * *

My heart sinks a little as I hear the telephone ring. I know I'm on call tonight and it's my job to deliver babies but I secretly hoped for no one to go into labour. I've been waiting for tomorrow for eight weeks and now I'm going to miss Delia arriving. I wanted to be the one to answer the door, to say 'welcome home' as she walked in. I wanted to be the one to show her to her room allowing us to be properly alone for the first time in six months. I silently pray for a quick and uneventful delivery.

* * *

I've never made my excuses so promptly after a delivery as I did with Jeanette. Ensuring everything was in order and promising to call in tomorrow morning in on my rounds I say my goodbyes and head towards my bike. My excitement is bubbling out of my body and I cycle home, possibly the fastest I've ever cycled my legs unable to stop themselves going at Olympic speed. I hastily park my bike in the hut and practically skip towards Nonnatus grinning, saying a cheery hello to Fred as I pass him. As I spring up the steps and push open the door my heart is galloping with excitement. The sight of Delia's luggage piled in the hallway made me smile; I place my bag down top as I glance at them.

"Oh no" the voice surprises me.

"Everything alright Sister? I ask silently hoping it's nothing too serious and time consuming.

"I was hoping for Fred. Someone has to tell him to bring more of his wife's homemade jam; it all seems to have disappeared." My prayer answered

"I just saw him. I'm sure he won't be long."

"Well. I hope not" she sighs as she turns back towards to kitchen.

I smile softly at her before remembering exactly what I was doing, as if I could truly forget, and skip up the stairs.

I can hear her before I see her. Her soft Welsh tones echoing beautifully around the room she'd now call home, just down the corridor from mine, as close as we can get for now. I can hear Sister Mary Cynthia too, I'm glad, in the absence of me, that she was the one to welcome Delia here. She's so kind and it seems fitting that as Delia is moving into what was her room before she joined the Order. I reach the door and am struck at the sight before me. Dark hair pulled back, red cardigan, huge box of books and a smile that melts my heart every time I see it.

"Hello" I'm standing there like a schoolgirl unable to form a sentence, I'm unsure of what words actually are at this point. I just grin. "I saw the bags" is all the can manage to say.

"I'm afraid there's quite a lot to tidy away." She smiles looking down at her box.

"Well, luckily that's my forte." I scoop the box from her arms, grazing her hand with my own, causing a jolt of heat to rush through my body.

"I'll leave you to get settled, if there's anything I can do just ask." Sister Mary Cynthia touches Delia's arm gently as she's speaks, causing a rather silly pang of jealousy to hit me, why can't I do that so naturally.

"Thank you Sister" Delia closes the door behind her and turns to face me with a smile that could burst her face.

"Welcome home" I smirk as I step towards her scooping her up into an embrace and spinning around the small space between the wall and the bed.

"It feels so good to hear you say that again Pats. I can't quite believe this is really happening. It feels like a dream." I put her down but continue to hold her close.

"Well I can tell you for certain it isn't. Here's my proof" I lean down and capture her lips with my own.

It's gentle at first; as if we're both nervous after all these months without contact, but quickly deepens, Delia hands are on my face, her fingers caressing my cheeks causing a soft moan to escape from my lips. I realise where we are and pull away, my lips immediately regretting the decision made by my brain, missing the contact they had.

"We must be careful Deils"

Delia bites her lip as she stares deep into my eyes. She's holding my hands rubbing her thumbs against mine. She smiles softly, that glint in her eye telling me all I need to know. She understands, she agrees.

"Right, I'd better get changed and I can help you unpack." I give her hands a squeeze before reluctantly letting her go and heading for the door.

"Don't be long." She whispers as I walk out. My goodness I love that woman more every day.

* * *

I rush to get changed, not bothering to hang up my uniform, desperate to get back to Delia. I pull on my dark slacks and checked shirt, tying the bottom hems tightly around my waist. I take the Kirby grip out of my hair, letting it fall around my shoulders, Delia loves my hair down, not that I need to impress her now but I can't help it. I pick up the bunch of flowers I bought yesterday and head down the corridor to her room. For some reason I'm nervous, I gently knock on the door and wait. I door opening makes me jump a little, I should hardly be surprised, I did knock.

"You don't need to knock Pats, you never need to knock" She smiles as she steps aside to let me in.

There's soft music playing, 'Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?' yes I think to myself, tomorrow and always. Delia is pulling photographs out of boxes, placing them delicately on the mantelpiece. I set about arranging the flowers, as best I can.

"You must be exhausted now" she grazes past me making her way to sit on the bed.

"I must be. I don't feel it. There"

I place the last stem into the vase, silently working out just how long I've been awake now, and quickly deciding it doesn't matter. I take a seat beside her on the bed, leaning back on my arms, taking in the beauty around me.

"I have waited such a long time to sit beside you looking a bunch of flowers in a vase" our fingers interlink behind us, our arms touching, causing goose bumps to spread up my arm.

"Under the same roof at last. Just you and me" she pauses, our eye contact causing more heat to spread though my body "…And Trixie and Barbara and Nurse Crane and quite a few nuns."

She laughs as she speaks; it is so good to hear that laugh again. I lean in close to her as we continue giggling, like school girls in the playground.

"Who would have thought we would end up here when you first suggested us living together?" I sigh, feeling perfectly content with how events have turned out.


	7. Episode 3 part 2

**A/N found this bit really hard to write. Have decided to post as two parts this chapter also included Delia's POV as felt it was right.**

* * *

The wait for the ambulance feels like forever, I can feel the bile crawling its way up from my stomach; I'm trying desperately to prevent myself being sick. The plucking on the sheets and the spots on Jeanette's chest, something I never thought I'd see again and never wanted to. I try in vain to get the new mother to drink something, she's fighting me off with the little strength she has.

Doctor Tuner offers me ride back to Nonnatus, I agree, I need to be around people, I cannot be alone with my thoughts, it will destroy me. As we get out the car he tells me to get myself taken off the midwifery rota for the time being, in case I have been exposed to this wretched disease. I really hope I'm wrong.

 _As soon as I heard Mrs Turner say the words I knew it would be too much for Patsy. She'd rushed round from the surgery to inform Sister Julienne, at Doctor Turner's request, and stayed for tea._

 _I stay silent while the others discuss the details of the case they know while we wait for Pats to return. As the door opens I feel nervously nauseous at what state she's going to be in._

I can hardly bare to walk through the door, I don't want to talk to anyone about it, everyone about it. I want to talk to Delia alone. They're all in the kitchen, buzzing over tea and toast. I silently walk into the room trying desperately hard not to meet Delia's eye, knowing I'll cry if I do.

"Is it true?" Trixie asked softly as I take a seat at the head of the table acutely aware of Delia to my right.

"Patrick was in such a hurry to leave the surgery but he told me some brief facts" Mrs Turners voice is soft and rather comforting right now, as though it's enveloping me in a hug.

"I hope it isn't but I fear I'm right." I force out, staring so hard at table cloth I wonder if I will spontaneously combust.

"If it is typhoid we have a list of register carriers at the surgery" Mrs Turner offers

"No one else in the family seems ill" Trixie is busy making tea

"Not as far as I know. but the extended family is huge." I sigh, this could be rather hard to pinpoint.

 _I know she's fighting tears, trying to cope better with the facade, I've told her before that she does. There's discussion about the family involved, who could be the carrier. Patsy sighs and I reach out to comfort her. She snaps her arm away from mine and stand up abruptly, taking me by surprise._

"Patsy even if your right, the antibiotic treatment know is really effective. Typhoid isn't like it was" Delia reaches out and touches my arm.

"I know that Delia" I snap and pull my arm away "I'm talking about the prevention of spread" I drop my teacup into the sink, instantly regretting snapping so much at the one person I want close.

 _I know Patsy hasn't told everyone else the whole story about her time in the interment camp and I would never have said anything. But I also know that she would be thinking the absolute worst, quite justifiably, with regards to this case. I just wanted to reassure her that times have changed. I wanted to be a friend, comfort her the same was Trixie or Barbara would have done. Let her talk through what she needed to. My touching her arm wasn't because she's my partner, girlfriend, whatever label we are, it was because she's my friend and I wanted to support her. I feel a fool now, embarrassed, the silence round the table is rather deafening. Trixie tries to break the silence by offering toast but I'm really not hungry now. I make my excuses to read my book and make a hasty exit from the kitchen. I don't look at anyone as I left for fear that if I did my tears would give me away._

"Actually I think I'm going to read my book."

My heart sinks, I feel awful as she moves behind me with no attempt at contact like there usually is.

"Patsy that was really rude poor Delia was only trying to help" please don't Trixie, I know what it was. I can feel Barbara and Mrs Turner's eyes on my back.

"I know" My voice doesn't sound like me, it's broken, my façade cracking.

"If I'd had a rotten day like yours I'd expect id be a bit tetchy too, have some of Violets jam before Sister Monica Joan gets her hands on it. Then go and say sorry to our new housemate."

I'm fighting back tears as she speaks, I turn towards the table taking a deep breath. Everyone's eyes are still focused on me. I can't do this now, I can't talk to them, I can't keep this strong persona going for much longer. I've got to get out.

"I'll... Excuse me please" I rush out of the room before I cant control myself.

 _I make it to my room before I allow a tear to fall. Laying down on the bed I pull out a spotted handkerchief from under my pillow. It's one Patsy gave me after my accident. I dab it under my eyes and pull out my book, opening it at the bookmark, a photo of the two of us at the square dance. Another tear rolls down my cheek and onto my lip. I don't read a single word of my book, I just stare at the photograph as if trying to burn a hole in it._

I decide to change first. Partly to give Delia some space and partly so I can work out my apology in my head. I'm peel off my uniform half heartedly folding it on the end of the bed. As I pull my green dress over my head I catch sight of myself in the mirror on the wall. My cheeks are flushed, my eyes dark and glassy. It all becomes too much and I relent and allow the tears to fall. I'm not sure how to stop them. They fall silently to begin with however quickly morph into loud sobs, dispersed with wails. I can't control the emotion that's forcing its was out of my body in a way I'm not used to. I realise that there's only one person who can get me through this. One person I need to get me through this.

I don't knock, Delia told me I never needed to and I hope that still stands now. Pushing her door closed I stand for a moment making sure I'll be able to say what I need to.

"Sorry" 


	8. Episode 3 part 3

She sits up on the bed and holds her hand out towards me without saying a word. I take a seat next to her sitting in close. She places her hand in the small of my back, running her thumb up and down causing a shiver to run through me.

"Don't" I bite as she moves her hand away "please carry on." I attempt a smile.

"I knew you were thinking about your mother and sister but I would never have mentioned them I know how difficult it is to talk about the camp" I can't look at her while she speaks, for fear that I'll break down again and won't be able to regain my composure.

"I've been thinking about them all day" I choke, the tears seemed to be pooling at the back of my throat. I brush away an invisible thread from my dress and fiddle with the hem.

"Of course you have, must have brought back so many awful memories." Her voice is so soft, as it was the first time I told her about my mother and sister.

"I so wanted to let you comfort me, but I didn't know how to do it with the others there" I glance up at her, tears still filling my eyes but I manage to keep them stored. She moves her hand off my back and I feel immediately empty.

"Patsy is me being here makes you uncomfortable I can go. I'm sure I'll find somewhere" that makes me feel sick, why would she think that's a good idea.

"No I don't want that, I want you here, I nearly lost you once already" I hold both her hands in mine as if stopping her leaving that second.

"But you didn't" she offers a soft smile which makes me cry again.

She pulls me into her so I can rest my head in her shoulder. She runs her hand up and down my arm and back as she's done so many times before when my strong front has weakened. My sobs become softer and further apart as I calm down, gentle kisses from Delia in my hair help more than I know. As much as I despise crying in front of others, crying at all, there's something comforting about having the person you love kiss your hair and allow you to be who you need to be. I'm absorbed in my thoughts when Delia stands, she climbs over the bed and lays down on the far side lifting her arm up. I don't need a question to know what she asking. I reposition myself on my side in front of her, allowing the full length of her body to press itself again my own. She wraps her arms around me pulling me in tight so I can feel the warmth of her breath on my neck.

There's nowhere else I need to be and nowhere else I want to be at this moment in time. I try to time my breathing with Delia's, partly to calm myself down, her breath cycle is much slower than mine and partly so I can feel even closer to her, in sync. We don't need to say any thing else to each other. Everything that could be spoken in voice is said in touch. The touch of our ankles crossed together, the touch of her pelvis against my bottom. The touch of her breasts on my back, and our fingers interlinked in front of me. The last things I remember are her soft kisses on my neck before I fall asleep in a very long awaited Delia hold.

A/N I hope this chapter is okay. I found it really hard to write.


	9. Episode 4 part 1

**A/N Sorry for taking so long to get this chapter up, I thought the scenes in the episode we so beautiful, I've really struggled to add to them in a way that doesn't them justice. I hope I've achieved that. Reviews always welcome.**

* * *

Perched on the steps outside Nonnatus I have to remind myself that Delia and I aren't alone, that we are on show to the world. I lean in close to her, reading the newspaper she's holding, our dress skirts pulled up to our knees in the attempt to catch some bronze on our legs. As she breaths in her bust skims my shoulder causing my hairs to stand on end, initiating a shiver that runs through my whole body.

"I can't believe 'Le Dolce Vita' is finally here, I've been reading about it in magazines for the last twelve months" I shake my head slightly, still struggling to believe someone can be so excited about a picture opening.

"And I've been promising to sit through it with you" I try not to sigh too loudly.

"You want to see Anita Ekburg in that fountain just as much as I do" I attempt to suppress a smirk as she speaks, it's true, who wouldn't want to see such a beautiful woman fully clothed and soaking wet, but Deils knows I much prefer brunettes.

"I'm not on duty a week next Friday, and as far as I can ascertain you're not on call" I glance at her and smile; she's become rather sneaky since she returned from Wales.

"Have you been looking at the advanced roster?"

"Guilty as charged" I laugh, unable to believe someone would go to such lengths for me to spend time with me"But is it a date?" I don't have a chance to reply as Trixie appears on the steps.

"What are you two up to" I just slightly, not really sure why, we're hardly in a compromising position.

"Trying to get our legs brown. I'm not doing too badly but poor Patsy's struggling," I gasp at the insinuation, despite its truth. "What with being a redhead and everything."

"I had shins like milk bottles even when I was a blonde." And Delia knows that all too well, our many dates in the park during the summer we first met highlighting that no matter what I just don't tan.

"Oh, just look at Anita Ekburg's bust in that black dress!" I grin, it is rather impressive. "She must be wearing the most stupendous brassiere or how on earth would she manage to go strapless."

"Well if you come to the flicks with us next Friday you might find out." I can feel Delia's body stiffen slightly, glancing up to her I realise what I've done as her eyes are like daggers, piercing silently at me. Patience Mount you fool, why would you think that inviting someone else on a date would be a good thing to do. I'm so lost in my own annoyance that it takes me a moment to realise Barbara has joined us.

"Do you fancy coming to the pictures next week Barbara. We're going up West to see La Dolce Vita. If enough people come we could book a charabanc" Delia's eyes are on me again, I can feel she's jesting me but at the same time I feel totally dreadful, I can only offer a sympathetic half smile by way of an apology.

The tension between Barbara and Trixie is awfully awkward; Delia and I stay silent as they talk. I'm willing them to both leave so I can apologise properly. My wish is soon true, Trixie makes an excuse about making a face mask and storms back inside. Barbara sighs.

"You need to tell her" I offer sensitively "It's only going to be worse if you don't." She paused for a moment before standing and making her way back inside.

Alone again I turn slightly towards Delia. My fingers graze her thigh through her dress.

"Sorry" I bit my lip "I don't know what I was thinking." I can feel her soften as I speak.

"We hardly get anytime alone and when we do you go and invite half of Poplar" her words are bitter and hurt.

"Deils I've said I'm sorry, I'm a stupid fool who doesn't know a good thing when its right in front of her face. Please let me make it up to you."

She doesn't say anything, placing the newspaper onto my lap as she stands, brushes down her skirt while slipping her feet back in her shoes and makes her way back inside. I curse under my breath at my foolishness, flinching as she slams the door closed.

Taking a deep breath I stand up, grab my purse from behind me and leave. I need to make it up to her, I can't create another day off for us together but I can find a floral apology.

* * *

Standing at the florist cart I pick out the flowers with the most appropriate meanings, white tulips for forgiveness and yellow ones meaning hopelessly in love. The florist binds them with red ribbon and I delicately carry them back in the crook of my arm.

It almost supper time when I arrive back at Nonnatus, I rush inside and up the stairs, hoping the Delia is in her room, and alone. I knock gently on the door, not feeling I can oblige to Delia's 'no knocking for Patsy' rule today. The door opens suddenly and she offers of soft half smile as she sees me.

"Sorry… again" I pull the flowers from behind my back while I speak.

She looks down at then, taking them with both hands. Her smile broadens and she looks at me, as sparkle in her eye.

"White and yellow tulips, wow in love and sorry." She winks at me "Apology accepted you know I can't stay mad at you for long" she steps aside. "Are you coming in?"


	10. Apologies

A/N sorry for you guys for thinking you were getting another chapter and an even bigger sorry that I haven't managed to get the second part of episode 4 up before tomorrow. I'm working 7am - 9pm tomorrow so I won't be able to get it done and I'll miss tomorrow episode when it's on. I'll try and get the next chapters up as soon as I can this week.

Continual thanks for reading, liking and reviewing this fic. It really means a lot. Vicki. X


	11. Episode 4 part 2

**A/N Sorry this chapter was so delayed. I've found this one harder to write as the scene was already so beautiful. Hope this does it justice.**

I drag myself up the steps and push open the heavy front door, it's been a long evening, protracted delivery and a rather stubborn after birth means I'm much later home than I was expecting. It was dark inside, no one around; it's so late they must all be in bed. Tip toeing into the dining room I place my bag on the table, catching sight of some in the kitchen. I look over and my heart melts. Delia, her light pyjamas, her dark hair down around her shoulders a picture of beauty. She's silently pouring milk into a saucepan on the stove. I smile, I could stand and watch this woman all day and all night but I should make my presence known.

"Delia?"

"There's no one here, there's nobody watching, nobody but us" she smiles as she walks towards me.

I glance behind me to check were truly alone before taking her in my arms. Running my hand up to her shoulder. I shudder slightly as she slides her hands around my waist.

"You waited up" I can't help but grin.

"Yes" she's so matter of fact as though we've been waiting up for each other all our lives.

"Its what we dream of wasn't it, when we were planning the flat, before our future got, interrupted." I feel my smile fall as I think of how of different our lives were for those long six months.

"Do you know Deils in my whole life I've never had anyone wait up for me." I play with her hair, brushing it behind her shoulder. I can smell her shampoo wafting towards me as I do, V05, the smell of Delia.

"I bet you've never had anyone make you a cup of Bournvita with a tot Johnnie Walker in it." She's pushing me by my hip towards to worktop. My whole body is on fire by the time my hips bump against the side.

"While you were out I was thinking 'I'm going to unpin her hair let it fall down to her shoulders and run my hands through it.' But you've got so mad with the laquer I could take out every Kirby grip and the beehive wouldn't budge."

She's playing with the loose wispy hair on the nape of my neck causing rather a lot of goosebumps to form all over my body. My brain can form no words, all I can do is grin madly at how wonderful this feels. Deils and I together, alone, being like every other couple I know. I glance at her lips and she licks them with a sparkle in her eye. Without saying another word I lean down and take her lips with my own. Her hands run their way up from my shoulders to my neck. Her fingers working their way into my hair. She lets out a soft moan which drives me wild and gives me all the encouragement I need to deepen the kiss. Running my tongue along her lip waiting for her to allow me entrance to her mouth. Just as she does were disturbed by the milk boiling over. The sizzle on the hob making us jump apart. Delia looks to me and takes me hand smiling.

"Why don't you go and get changed. I'll clean this mess up and meet you upstairs" she squeezes my hand as she talks, if she's trying to calm me down its really not working.

I let go of her hand and place a kiss on her cheek as I walk past.

"Don't be long" I whisper in her ear.

There's a spring in my step as I make my way up the stairs, suddenly feeling a lot less tired than I did when I arrived home.

 **A/N do you want another chapter for once Deila has tidied up?**


	12. Episode 4 extra scene

**A/N Following all your lovely reviews and comments here is the scene for once Delia's tidied up. It is certainly M rated!**

I rush upstairs and into my bedroom, pulling off my cardigan and belt and tossing them onto, and then unintentionally, over, the bed. Stepping out of my dress I leave it in a crumpled heap on the floor not giving a care to how it will look in the morning. Rather more focused on getting myself changed and ready for Delia. I carefully pull out every Kirkby grip securing my beehive and drop each one into the pot on the dresser. I don't know what Delia meant, Ishake my head and my hair to falls out easily landing naturally around my shoulders. I run my fingers through it as I walk to the door, lifting my dressing gown off the hook on the back of the door and putting it on over my underwear. I quietly open the door and tiptoe down the landing, unsure why I'm being so quiet when we're the only ones here, force of habit I suppose. I let myself into Delia's room and shut the door. The light on the dresser provides a soft glow to the room. I walk across the small room to the window, running my fingertips over the petals of the flowers I'd bought Deils earlier in the week. She keeps them so well, they look as fresh as they did when I got them.

I startle as I hear Delia's footsteps coming up the stairs. I leap over to the bed and lay myself down on my side, propping my head up with my left arm. I'm unsure what to do with my right arm, a tiny part of my wishing it would disappear. I quickly try several positions before resting it on my side, my hand across my hip. I smile as I hear Delia knock on my door, I can hear the door open and then close before the footsteps resume. My heart is beating faster as they get louder and the door to Delia's room opens.

I can't help but smile when I see the reaction I'm causing. Her eyes widen and her cheeks flush Crimson as she looks up and down my body. Part of me feel nervous and self conscious as her eyes focus on my legs, my hips, my busy. But another part of me is coming alive. I pull my dressing gown open slightly to reveal what underneath. I've purposely left my stockings and suspender belt on as I know it's something Delia loves. Her eyes widen even more and she licks her lips.

"Hello" she chuckles as she walks towards me, her nostrils are flaring uncontrollably, a quirk of hers that I love.

"Hello" I smile back as she reaches me.

"I though you were getting changed?" She smirks, rubbing her thumb over the lapel of my robe.

"Sorry, do you disapprove of my dress code?" I bite my lip in an attempt to suppress the grin I can feel trying to burst out.

"Not one bit" her voice is husky and slick as she pushes me onto my back, climbing on the bed and straddling me, her thighs around my hips.

Looking up at her from here is possibly the best view in the world. Her hair below her shoulders, her cheeks flushed, her breaths faster than usual causing her breasts to heave under her pyjama top. I can just see her nipples pressing through the thin fabric, aching to be free. I lick my lips and reach up to her buttons slowly undoing each one and pulling apart her top. Her nipples harden as the cool air hits them and I can't stop myself running my thumb over one, eliciting a moan from Delia. I pull her towards me with my other arm and press my lips against hers, immediately asking for entrance with my tongue. She grants it without hesitation and our tongues meet, fighting for dominance. Her hands are in my hair, her fingers running through it as she promised downstairs. I run my hands up and down her sides as my hips buck, without control, up against her. Without breaking our kiss Delia moves herself off of me and begins pulling open my robe even further, exposing my underwear. My nipples straining under my brassiere and a wet patch rather noticeable on my knickers. She pulls me to sit up, pushing my gown down my arms and off before reaching behind me to undo my bra, pulling it off on one motion. Goosebumps cover my whole body as I'm exposed to the air. I pull her closer to me and kiss her again, our breasts touching, nipples grazing each other, causing another bolt of heat to shoot through my body. I pull her bottom lip with my teeth and tug it gently, causing another moan. My hands make their way down her toned body, fingertips grazing every dip and rise of her breasts and torso before stopping at at the waistband of her pyjama bottoms. I pause wanting to check she's happy for me to go on. She doesn't say anything but guides my hand under the waistband, all the permission I need. My fingers graze her dark curls, running along the hair line, twisting them gently between my finger and thumb.

"Pats" her voice is barely more than a whisper and I can't help but smile as I realise how much tension my teasing is causing.

I crush my lips against hers once again as I continue to play with her hair, moving my hand up and away from where I know she want it to be. She groans against my lips. I'm about to give into her demands when she pulls me close and pushes her hand down my back, under my knickers and squeezes my buttock. I gasp as she moves her hand further down, her fingertips achingly close to my entrance. I pull my leg up and over hers giving her more access in the hope she'll move further. She doesn't, rather pulling away.

"Tease" I groan.

"Well maybe you shouldn't tease me then" her voice is slick and full of lust.

Despite me wanting to tease her further my own needs are too great. I allow my fingers to reach her opening and running them along her wetness. She moans loudly as I plunge one finger inside her allowing my thumb to brush her super sensitive bundle of nerves. I'm not sure when it happened but her hand is now down the front of my knickers. Her fingers on me imitating my own inside her. The feeling in indescribable as we rock against each other, fingers deep inside one another. I can feel my climax edging closer and judging by the was Delia is panting hers is too. She pulls me in for another kiss and our nipples meet again causing a final wave of heat to wash over me tipping me over the edge. I moan loudly as my muscles clamp down around her fingers, she doesn't stop rather picking up her pace, causing me to spasm harder. My thumb brushes her sensitive nub once more and she screams, her own climax peaking, her walls clamping hard against my fingers, a truly unique feeling and one I've missed rather a lot.

We hold each other close, fingers still inside one another, as our spams and twitches subside, a fine film of sweat across us both. I don't want to move, I want to stay in this moment forever. Deils breaks first, pulling her hand away I immediately feel empty. I reluctantly do the same and take her hand with my own, linking our damp fingers together.

"Thank you for waiting up" I smirk.

"Any time" she grins back.


	13. Episode 5

The maternity home is all very well and good but when all the mothers hand delivered there's not an awful lot for a midwife to be doing. I'm doing the rather laborious task of folding towels when the door burst open, I'm grateful for some excitement to be occurring.

"Nurse Mount, come quick" Sister Monica Joan looks flushed as though she been running, which for a woman of her age is quite an achievement.

"What's wrong Sister"

"You are needed at once, there's an emergency of great importance, your friend from the West requested your attendance right away"

I feel sick, what's wrong with Deils, she hasn't has a spell for months, what if somethings happened and she's seizing again. I look around the room for one of my colleagues, my eyes don't seem to be working. I can't see anyone I recognise. Then I feel a hand on my arm.

"Go Patsy, we'll manage here" Mrs Turner's voice is so calm and soft it go some way to calming me too.

I can only offer a soft smile as thanks as my brain seem to have stopped allowing words to form too. I grab my bag and rush out the door, I walk briskly and somehow Sister Monica Joan manages to keep up with me.

"Sister, I need you tell me what's happened"

"I could hear screams. Nurse Crane was going to get there but was taking too long, as she couldn't be motorised. I told Nurse Busby I wasn't to be trusted with clinical matters but she said it was an emergency."

Why does she have to be so cryptic at a time like this. Screams! Why was Delia screaming, I suppose screaming means she's conscious but also in a great deal of pain, oh Deils. My heart is beating so fast it hurts, I can't bear to think of Delia hurting, without anyone by herself, no one to hold her hand. I swallow hard, forcing the bile that's trying to come up to stay down.

"We should hurry before the new life is here before us" Sister Monica Joan adds.

Wait, what? I stop in my tracks and look at her.

"Sister, what exactly was Nurse Busby doing when you left?" My stomach is in knots.

"She was on the telephone, speaking to Mrs Dawley, she was instructed by Nurse Crane to only answer it and then call for you, but she was talking she said she would stay on the phone until a midwife arrived" her voice has a tone of surprise to it, as though she thinks me silly for asking such an obvious question.

Oh thank goodness, well not for Mrs Dawley, but thank goodness that Delia is okay. I still feel sick at the thought of what could have been happening but can continue rushing to Nonnatus without the total dread of not knowing what I was going to find, or how I was going to cope with it.

I reach the front door and quickly push it open, making my way inside. Delia's still on the phone when reach the telephone room. My, she looks a picture in her uniform; I haven't seen her in it since the day of her accident. She turns towards me as she speaks.

"Roseanne? Boy or girl?" She smiles.

Amazing, my amazing wonderful girlfriend has just delivered a baby over the phone with no training. I truly love this woman more than anything else on earth. She put the phone down and I have to fight with every bone and muscle in my body not to scoop her up and kiss her right there and then with Sister Monica Joan watching. I smile at her, she's shaking so I step forward and embrace her in a hug, hopefully a friendly looking one to an outsider but frankly once she's in my arms I don't really care. I hold her tight; I can feel her heart pounding in her chest.

"Well done Deils" her heart rate is calming but she's still gripped tightly against me.

"I think a task like that deserves some tea" Sister Monica Joan interjects. "And I believe there is almost an entire Victoria Sponge I'll assist you in eating" she smiles as she wanders off in search of the tin.

"Are you okay? I ask, pulling us apart reluctantly.

"I am now you're here" she smiles, her eyes full of tears that she's managing to hold onto.

"Come on, let's get you that tea." I squeeze her hand and lead her into the kitchen.

* * *

Sister Monica Joan and Nurse Crane have made sure everyone knows about Delia's efforts this morning, Sister Julienne is so impressed she arranged a surprise tea. It takes all my strength not to tell Deils, I'm so proud of her. So we're now all sitting round the table waiting for our guest of honour to arrive. Cake, sandwiches, hard boiled eggs, it's a feast fit for a king, or queen in this instance, and not a spread we often get outside of celebration days.

Delia arrives and we hush while all standing toast her. I offer her a slight wink as she takes her place next to me.

"Nurse Busby, without your quick thinking and calmness, today may have ended very differently." I can't help but grin at Deils as Sister Julienne speaks, Delia seeming to be in awe of what's happening

"I only did what you all do every day" She really is the most modest person I've ever met.

"The difference is we've been trained for it." Barbara interjects, hear hear I think.

"I was a bit rusty, but those obstetric lectures never really leave you do they?" She smiles, I really love that smile.

"Not if you were taught by Mr Slade, if they could bottle that man we could do away with gas and air and more numbing fellow you couldn't find." There are chuckles around the table as we take our seats.

"It's been ages since we've had a BBA, born before arrival, of a midwife" Sister Mary Cynthia offers.

"BBB, born before bicycle, those wretched things I don't know how you manage them" I can't help but laugh, the image Nurse Crane on a bicycle is one of amusement I have to admit.

"Well that's telephone duty sorted out, I'll be washing my hair and reading a magazines from now on." Sister Winifred laughs.

"I have to admit it's a lot more rewarding than male surgical."

"I have always assumed the results of the male organ to be more rewarding that the organs itself" There's stunned silence around the table, Sister Monica Joan really does like to say it like it is, Delia glances towards me, her eyes wide, as if checking she just heard right. Sister is right though there really is nothing rewarding about the male organ itself. I try hard to hide the roar of laughter that I can feel trying to burst its way out.

"To Nurse Busby we could not wish for a more trusted reserve." Sister Julienne toasts.

We all chorus her before tucking into the tea, there's a buzz of chatter around the table, conversations about Delia's achievements and other events of the day.

"I feel so embarrassed" Delia leans in a whispers to me.

"Don't be, you deserve this, every moment of it. You did something today that I've never done, not a delivery over the telephone, that's quite an accomplishment even for a qualified midwife." I smile back at her taking a sip of tea.

"Well I've been thinking about that." She takes a deep breath and I raise my eyebrows, anxious about what she's going to say. "I'd like to look into retraining as a midwife"

My curiosity turns into surprise and excitement, my eyes widen and my smiles feels like it might break my face if two.

"Really?"

"Yes, today has made me realise how dull and unrewarding male surgical can be, there's something wonderfully stimulating about helping a woman bringing another life into the world, even if my entire experience is over the telephone." She chuckles as she speaks and is more animated than I've seen her be for a long time.

"Well, you know I'll support you whatever you decide, 100%" I touch her arm gently almost forgetting that we're not alone until Sister Mary Cynthia calls my name to ask for the eggs.

'Delia Busby, Midwife' does have rather a good ring to it.

 **A/N Apologies for the corny ending, wasn't sure how to finish this scene, I saw a tweet from Kate Lamb a while back saying she was wearing a cape for work, can only think Delia does become a midwife after her experience in this episode. If not we can dream!**


	14. Episode 6 Part 1

I can barely concentrate on what I'm doing, being this close to Delia's bare legs is rather distracting.

"Just watch where you're putting those pins Miss Mount" her Welsh tone descend down.

Delia's stood on a stool in the dining room. I'm knelt at her feet pinning the hem of her dress. I can't resist running the back of my hand up her bare calf towards her knee as I move to place another pin. Goose pimples form along her whole legs as she takes a sharp intake of breath.

"Pats, stop" her voice is a throaty whisper, incredibly attractive and all the encouragement I need to continue my teasing.

Ever since our late night kitchen meet up when no one else was in I've become a lot braver and bolder in my displays of affection, taking the chance to touch or kiss Delia when ever we're alone, even if it just for a moment. There's no one around this evening again. The nuns are at Compline, Trixie is at her art history group and Barbara is out with Tom, I'm still really rather jealous that Babs can so freely go out on a date while we can't. What I wouldn't give to walk hand in hand with Deils as we stroll along the dockside on our way back from a romantic dinner.

"Ouch"

I'm so caught up in my thoughts I've jabbed a pin straight into Delia's thigh.

"Gosh, Deils I'm so sorry, don't move I'll get it out"

"I'm hardly going to leap around with a pin in my leg am I?" She smirks with a large scoop of sarcasm.

I swiftly pull out the pin, leaning in close and pressing my lips to the tiny mark left on her thigh.

"Right, that's it" Delia smiles as she pulls away and steps down from the stool "I can't trust you not to get distracted, I'll just to wait for Barbara to help me"

I feign annoyance knowing full well that she was totally right, I was getting too distracted, I couldn't be totally to blame though surely. She did have wonderful legs.

"Shall I help you with the bust darts instead then?"

I smirk as my fingers graze along the outside of her breast. She quickly bats my hand away but hold it tightly in her own.

"I think I'll let Barbara help with that too but you can help me upstairs later" she grins with a devilish sparkle in her eye.

The sound of the front door opening causes us to jump apart, Delia turns to the hob and begins to boil some milk as I take a seat at the table anxiously bracing myself to hear all about Barbara's date.

* * *

It's not exactly my first choice for an evening in, 'Jukebox Jury' with Sister Monica Joan and Dr Godfrey, but at least Delia was enduring it with me. We've commandeered the sofa, leaving the older two to the arm chairs. Making sure we keep out distance Delia and I are sitting at opposite ends part of me hoped that someone else will join our group so I'll have to move up next to Delia to make room. No such luck unfortunately. However Delia's hand is making its way across the gap between us, under a concealing cushion of course. As she speaks, answering rather mundane questions about the purpose of what we're watching, she's pushing her fingers closer towards me. As she touches my upper thigh I take a silent gasp, picking up a biscuit so as to disguise my surprise and excitement.

Nurse Crane bursts into the sitting room as the programme draws to an end, shouting at Dr Godfrey about his neglect of his patient calls. I glance at Deils, we were discussing his nonchalant attitude earlier this evening with Trixie and Sister Mary Cynthia. It appears we aren't the only ones who feel that way. He seems oblivious to the seriousness of the situation making an awfully smarmy comment about Britannica as Nurse Cranes leaves. I can't stop myself pulling a face and I can sense Delia doing this same.

The credits for 'Jukebox Jury' roll and Delia's begins to move.

"Right then, I'm going up, do you want me to teach you that card game before bed Pats?"

She touches my thigh possibly innocently sending a very non innocent shiver through my body.

"Card game?"

I look at her rather confused, should I be knowing what she's talking about.

"Yes, the card game I told you I teach you later!"

Her eyes were wide and as if her subtext came out through her eyebrows I realised what she mean.

"Oh yes of course, yes I'll follow you up"

I feel myself blushing, there was some truth to her plan. She had said she was going to teach me, just not cards. I finish the last mouthful of my tea, not caring that it's cold, and spring up the stairs.

* * *

Trixie isn't there when I reach our room, she must be in the bathroom. I quickly change out of my clothes and into my pyjamas, pale blue ones, another Delia choice, in fact I'm not sure I have any nightwear that Delia hasn't played some part in choosing. I rush down the corridor to Delia room before Trixie comes back. I open the door without knocking and shut it quietly behind me. Turning into the room my surprised, excited and aroused by what I see. The lights are off, the glow of candles, about twenty around the room providing a soft light. The gramophone is playing quietly The Drifters, one of my favourites, 'Save The Last Dance For Me' I listened to this a lot after Delia's accident it makes me think of the square dance and our promise teach other to be dancing in our heads. I pull my mind back into the room, Delia is laid on the bed, cardigan hanging over the bedpost, her skirt and blouse must be somewhere but I have no interest in finding them. I'm only interested in the fact the Delia, my beautiful, wonderful Delia is laying on her bed, in candlelight in nothing but her underwear, her hair down and falling around her shoulders in dark waves. I can't help but grin as I walk towards her, I feel rather over dressed in my pyjamas sitting down next to her on the bed.

"Hello" I smirk, pursing my lips together.

"Hello Pats, ready for cards?" Her eyes twinkle.

I lean into her talking her lips with my own, running my fingers through her hair before pulling away.

"Always"

 **A/N I've stopped there as I wanted to get something up before I run out of days again! I'm more than happy to write another sex chapter (as we all know that's what playing cards means!) I just don't want it to end up being the same as the sex scenes I've written for these two before.**


	15. Episode 6 Part 2

**A/N thank you to wedontlikecake and mystwords on Tumblr for giving this a pre-read for me.**

I reluctantly pull away, the need for air overwhelming my desire.

"What did you want to teach me?" Her eyes are dark, pupils wide, barely allowing any iris to be seen.

"Well" She blushes crimson as she shuffles around on the bed. "Well, I'm not really sure how to explain, it's something that probably needs a demonstration to work better."

"Okay, well do I get a clue?" I'm intrigued, I settle myself on the bed next to her.

"There was something I found, well not found exactly, read. Stumbled upon" I touch my hand on her thigh as she speaks, encouraging her to continue. "You know how we both enjoy giving each other a release" I nod taking a deep breath "With our mouths" She's blushing again.

"Yes, I am aware of that" I smile, starting to like the sound of where this was going.

"Well how would you like to try doing it to each other, at the same time?" She looks down at her lap, half looking back up towards me as if ashamed of what she just said.

I have several questions. How would that work? How does she know about this? Can she get any sexier? But all my brain can manage is rather red cheeks and grin that could break my face in two. I let out a nervous chuckle and lean forward to kiss her again, pulling her chin up with my hand and pushing my tongue inside her mouth.

"Does that mean you want to try it?" Her voice is soft and lustful.

"Show me what I need to do." I nod biting my bottom lip as I do.

She stands up, pulling me with her and begins unbuttoning my pyjamas, painstakingly slowly which is only adding to the tension that has built up inside me over the last fifteen minutes. She pushes the sleeves down my arm, taking my pyjama bottoms with her as she pulls them to the floor. I usually feel self-conscious being naked in front of her while she's clothed, but not tonight. My nipples harden and Delia raises her hand and brushes her thumb against one, I uncontrollably let out a rather loud moan that I can't believe came from me, it doesn't sound anything like me. I must try and control myself, which is much easier thought that done, but I am always so aware of how quiet we must be and what could happen if we were ever heard. She pushes me back on the bed, guiding me to lie down, my head below the pillow and legs stretched out in front of me. My breath is fast and raspy; my nipples are hard and aching to be touched by Delia's gentle hands again. She climbs onto the bed too, only not directly on top of me, she swings her legs round and straddles my shoulders with them. Facing away from me she can't tell just how wide my eyes have got at the view before me.

"Ready?" she whispers as she turns back to look at me with a smile.

"Always" my voice is a whisper that doesn't sound like my own, it's deep and throaty.

She leans forwards and pushes my legs apart, her own legs moving up, her wet centre hovering over my face. There's a moment of pause, I'm sure were both thinking the same, waiting for the other to go first, I can't take the suspense any longer, the sight in front of my face to too much to resist. I push my tongue through her soft folds, burying my nose in her opening, my tongue flicking her sensitive nub. She moans into my apex as she imitates my actions, her tongue feeling like ice against the heat of my centre. This is like nothing we've ever done before the combination of pleasure I'm giving and pleasure I'm receiving is almost overwhelming. There's a sweetness towards everything about her, sweet smelling as I bury my nose deeper. Sweet tasting, almost creamy with a slight bitterness, as I flick her nub with my tongue and encase it in my mouth, sucking gently. I released a deep moan against me, fortunately muffling the sound to keep our ministrations secret. The vibrations are like nothing I've ever felt, sending pulses throughout my whole body. I wrap my hands around her thighs pulling her close onto me. I plunge my tongue inside her once more and her thighs clamp down around my head as she's climaxes, she laps my centre tipping me over the edge too, waves and waves of pleasure shuddering through my whole body. We continue pleasuring each other as our orgasms peak and subside. Tongues lapping up the sweet nectar released.

She rolls off me and turns, laying herself against the length of my body, kissing me hard, the combination of our releases mixing together on my tongue. My spasms reduce and I pull her close to me, inhaling her scent; vanilla, and the distinct smell of sex I never knew about before I met Delia. We stay still for some time, only the sound of our breaths evening out breaking the virtual silence.

"I'd better to getting back" I sigh reluctantly squeezing Delia tight into me.

She pushes herself close into me, snuggling herself against my breast, groaning as she does.

"I don't want to believe me but you know I can't stay." I run my fingers through her hair as I speak.

She doesn't say anything, just arches herself up to kiss me before I unwrap myself from her.

"Thank you for my lesson" I wink as I pull my pyjamas back on and give her a final kiss before quietly opening the door and making my way back to my room. I surprised to see the door open as I reach it. I quickly straighten up my pyjama top before walking inside.

"Not been called out yet?" Trixie is sitting on the bed smoking.

"I'm positively poised to spring into action. Shoes on, panstick applied and one ear cocked for the telephone." I smile at her as I climb into my bed, tucking the blankets around me.

"Where were you?" She asked with some force as purpose laying her cigarette in the ashtray.

"In Delia's room" I pause, my increasing heart rate a silent giveaway of my escapades. "She was just teaching me a new card game"

I reach for the smoking cigarette and take a long drag. Glancing at Trixie to make sure she was buying my story. I appear to have been believed although I'm waiting anxiously for her to probe further. Thankfully the sound of the telephone downstairs relieves me of such torture.


	16. So many sorrys!

A/N Firstly an apology for not having the last two episodes up yet, I've been unwell and had a pretty crappy and busy fortnight at home. I have the first two scenes for episode 7 written but would like to have more done before I post. I promise I haven't forgotten about this fic and once this weekend is over with a job interview, wedding and essay completed I'll crack on and update. Vicki x


	17. Episode 7

**A/N I'm so sorry this has taken me so long to write. I've had a pretty crappy few months and have struggled to focus on anything in any aspect of life. I'm slowly getting back on track. I'm rewriting episode 8 as I post this so hope the last chapter will be up soon.**

 **Thank you for sticking with me and this fic. Vicki x**

* * *

I wake with a start, the light coming through the window surely having betrayed my secret. Glancing as the wrist watch on the beside table I'm relieved to find its just before six. Early enough that no-one will be awake yet. I find myself staring at the back of Delia's sleeping form, close enough to inhale the scent of her shampoo in her hair. Smiling, I reach up and brush her dark locks behind her ears, she doesn't stir, this woman could sleep through a storm I'm sure. I reluctantly drag myself out of the bed, padding round towards the door I place a soft kiss on Delia's forehead before tiptoeing out and down the corridor back to the room I share with Trixie. Slowly turning the door handle I sneak inside, hearing the sound of another door opening as I close my own, that was very close. I silently climb into be finally releasing a breath I hadn't realise I'd been holding. There's no way I can sleep in my own bed now, it's too cold, too empty, too foreign compared to the comfort of Delia's, or rather a bed with Delia in it. I turn so my back is facing Trixie and lay in the silence waiting for it to be time to get up, the only sound is the soft wave of my friends breathing.

* * *

"Deels I'm sorry, it's an 'all must attend' meeting, Sister Julienne was very insistent. We can always pop to the Hand and Shears afterwards if it doesn't go on too late, I'll come and find you." My heart was torn this morning when Sister Julienne announced the contraception lecture that would take place today. On the one hand I was rather excited to learn about the new developments for women. However on the other Delia and I had arranged to go out this evening, to see a picture, again of Delia's choice, I don't really have film desires like she does, followed by a fish and chip supper on the dock.

"It's hardly the same is it" her eyes gave over everything she was feeling about the situation, there was none of her usual sparkle, they were flat and despondent.

"You could come too, see what all the hype is about." Not exactly the evening we'd planned but better than nothing.

"Pats, when exactly do you think I'll need to know about the female contraceptive pill on male surgical?" Her eyebrow raised as she smirked.

My heart and body sank as she shot down my suggestion, I felt her fingers in my chin, lifting it until our eyes met.

"I'm joking sweetheart, I'm actually rather curious, and besides its better than sitting up here by myself."

Without another word she jumps up from the bed and heads for the door, turning back before opening it.

"Come on then, we don't want to be late."

The debate and discussion has become rather heated and particularly awkward and there are sides forming. The tension between the Sisters and the rest of us could he cut with a knife. We could really do with Trixie here to say something to ease the situation. I almost can't believe it when Delia starts hypothesising about a young couple in love and I feel myself blush slightly as she talks about fighting their feelings. Both of us know exactly how that feels, the desire drawing us together. All Tom manages to contribute that the couple should practise self restraint. Thankfully Sister Julienne stops the meeting there as I'm not sure I can contribute much more after that statement.

The group disperses and Delia and I make our way upstairs, both using the cover of early starts tomorrow for our quick departure.

"Was that question based on anyone in particular?" I ask with a smirk once we're in the privacy of my room. "Fighting a desire?" I purse my lips as she pulls closer to me.

"It maybe have been based on some experience of mine" she pushes her lips against mine and released a soft moan.

The door rattles and we both jump apart.

"Right, well thanks for that Pats, good night." She turns towards the door and smiles as Trixie as she walks out.

My heart is pounding and I'm sure I'm a deep shade of Crimson. Trixie doesn't say anything, grabbing her wash bag and heading back out to the bathroom. I quickly change into my nightclothes and climb into bed, my back turned away from the door, hoping that Trixie will do the same when she comes back in and we can both sleep.

* * *

It's not until the next evening that Deils and I catch up again. Sitting in the darkness of the garden at Nonnatus, the moonlight providing a soft glow that highlights Delia's cheek bones beautifully.

She catches me up on her day, Mr Jones' prostate and Mr Roberts' hernia are not exactly thrilling conversation pieces but we're alone together and that's what counts. I try to change the subject by taking about the moon. My day plays on my mind and I get keep my worries about the Blacker children inside.

"Pats, next time we both have the same night off, I wanna go to the Gateways Club"

"Why?" I sigh, we've been through this before, so many times.

"Because there are women like us there" her voice is soft and pleading

"We've discussed this. I don't want to be with women like us. I just want to be with you." I've made my point many times before and can't bare the thought of being somewhere so public, so exposed.

"We can hold hands there, dance there. Be in a crowd and be invisible."

"I'm sorry" my resentment of the suggestion clear in my voice.

We finish our apples in silence before Delia goes back inside without saying a word, I sit in the darkness for a few more minutes before heading inside myself, going straight to my own room to bed. I don't want to fight with Deils anymore tonight.

* * *

The storm is ghastly, I really wish Delia wasn't working tonight, I want her close to me, where I know she's safe. We talked this morning and I apologised for my stubbornness, I still stick to my decision about Gateways and Delia has agreed to give me time. For now we're to be grateful we've been given the opportunity to living together.

I don't get much time to worry about Deils, the knock at the door calls me to Mrs Blacker. The gales and wind are awful, how poor Lil ran across from the Docks by herself I'll never know. Birth on a barge, in a storm is a new one for me but birth is a wonderful thing and the strength and determination of women always amazes me.

It's refreshing to leave the docks in the calm after the storm. As I walk back to Nonnatus Mrs Blacker's words play on my mind.

 _"There's worse things than being completely part of someone. Being part of something bigger, even just for a little while. We know where we belong, don't we?"_

This brilliantly strong women who, along with her husband and family are happiest in love being totally who they are, not changing their behaviour to suit others expectations.

I find Delia in the kitchen when I get home, leaning wearily against the stove, stirring milk for Horlicks no doubt. I smile as I take her in, every time I see her is like the first time, and I never get tired of it. I sneak up behind her and whisper in her ear.

"Are you working tonight?" I jumps slightly and turns to face me.

"No, why?"

"I've changed my mind, I think we should go to Gateways, be somewhere we belong" I bit my bottom lip, oddly nervous about her response.

"Really? What mad you changed you mind?" She grins, giggling softly.

"Something a patient said last night. Made me think about how I need to try and embrace my life not shy away, as much as I can of course."

Delia's grin widens more that I thought possible and she glances behind me before pulling me into a tight hug.

"Thank you" she whispers softly.

* * *

I'm feeling sick with both nerves and excitement as we head through the entrance of the club and I can't help by glance behind me to check no ones seen us. Delia leads the way her gold and blue dress shimmering and catching the light with every move. She grabs my hand at the top of the steps and gives it a reassuring squeeze before leading me towards the dances floor. A woman's walks past us and for a split second I panic that she's seen us holding hands and then I remember were safe and tell myself to embrace the opportunity and enjoy it. I pull Delia into a spin and place my arm around her neck as she wraps hers around my waist, her thumb stroking the bare skin below my shirt, causing shivers to run over my whole body.

I pull her close, our foreheads meeting, eyes locked on each other. Her smile is infectious, she leans to one side and I bravely take the opportunity to kiss her. It's rather exhilarating being able to kiss her so publicly. So naturally. So passionately. I have to force myself to stop before I get carried away in the moment, but what a wonderful moment it is.

Our evening continues in a whirlwind of dancing, smiling, kissing and being closer to each other than we've even been. My heart sinks as the final song comes to an end and we have to make our way home. Delia links her arms through mine as we walk back to Nonnatus and while this is usually enough contact when we're in public, now it feels insufficient, I've had an evening of so much more and giving it is again is terribly hard. But I'll take it over nothing, for now.


End file.
